THE TOP 10 GREATEST MOVIES ABOUT OLD GUYS HOOKING UP WITH YOUNG WOMEN

Marlon Brando - 48, Maria Schneider, 20.
Age difference - 28 years.

Yeah, everybody remembers the steamy sex, but who recalls the pretentious "film-within-a-film" stuff with Jean-Pierre Léaud? (Discuss: despite that whole New Wave thing, with apologies to Bergman, do Europeans really know how to make movies?)

Peter O'Toole - 74, Jodie Whittaker - 24.
Age differentiation - 50 years.

The statute of limitations has run out on the cute, blue-eyed Lawrence of Arabia Peter O'Toole--he's not just old, he's scary-old. For those of you not up on your Roman gods, Venus refers to O'Toole's circulatory system.

Im-ho-tep - 4,569, Zita Johann - 28.
Age separation - 4,541 years.

Don't try to top this one. You can't.

Kevin Spacey - 40, Mena Suvari - 20.
Age diff - 20 years.

That old lust-as-metaphor thing rears its head as desperate husband Spacey looks to fill his empty spaces with Suvari, or vice-versa. The flowers are a nice touch.

Fernando Rey - 60, Carole Bouquet - 20, Ángela Molina - 22.
Age separation - 40 years, 38 years, 2 years.

That's right--another foreign-language film. That's cuzz we're sofisticated, okay? No, this is not a polygamist sect deal, this is a Buñuel film where a gray-bearded Fernando Rey falls in love with a well-shaved hottie played by two different actresses! (Are you paying attention Screen Actors Guild? Double employment--think about it.)

Jack Nicholson - 60, Helen Hunt, 34.
26 years difference.

She agrees not to step on his lines and he doesn't steal her scenes. This movie proves that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and skipping it leads to all sorts of problems.

Cary Grant - 59, Audrey Hepburn - 34.
25 years apart.

Cary Grant wins the Dorian Gray Award for playing leading men far beyond human possibilities. The title refers to the fact that we're supposed to just ignore everybody's age and pretend a good tan hides all those wrinkles. What's more (warning: Life Imitates Art Alert!), Grant kept up the pretense in his personal life, marrying four younger women: Number 1 - 4 years younger, number 2 - 19 years, number 3 (hot-stuff Dyan Cannon) - 33 years, and number 4 (spitfire Barbara Harris) - 47 years his junior! This is getting darn close to Tony Randall/Hugh Hefner territory, people.

Fred Astaire - 54, Cyd Charisse - 32.
22 years difference.

Possibly the best movie musical of all time, made even more amazing by the age of its star. It's one thing to share some conjugal nap-time with a young ingénue, it's entirely different to sing and tap your way through a full MGM feature. And like Cary Grant, the Fredster did it in your so-called "real world" too, marrying a woman 44 years younger at the age of 81. (Also see Daddy Long Legs--he's 56 and she, Leslie Caron, is 24.)

Clark Gable - 60, Marilyn Monroe - 35.
Age separation - 25 years.

Our lives are given meaning by the belief that Marilyn liked old guys, and not just in an Anna Nicole kind of way, either. She married baseball great Joe DiMaggio, 12 years her senior, then playwright Arthur Miller, 11 years older. Her untimely death robbed geriatric men everywhere of the dream that someday she'd fall for them too. The Misfits is an ironic title, of course--Gable and Monroe are perfect for each other. On the other hand, the name of Gable's character is "Gay Langland," which is just weird.

Woody Allen - 44, Mariel Hemingway - 18.
Age difference - 26 years.

This touching romance has the ring of truth: she loves him, he knows she shouldn't. He loves her, but knows it's not the best for her. He loves the Brooklyn Bridge, so does the cameraman. Excuse me, I'm gonna cry now.

The exception that proves the rule. But look again: Anne Bancroft was actually just 36 years old and Dustin Hoffman was 30. Katherine Ross clocked in at 27. (I told you these ages were approximate, didn't I?) Total age difference between the three of them, 9 years! I got ugly moles with a wider age-span than that! This was a taboo-breaking film? Tell it to Ashton Kutcher (30) and Demi Moore (ageless).