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Plot:
When California Highway Patrol officer Edward Malus investigates the disappearance of his former fiancée's daughter on a remote Pacific Northwest island, he finds that nothing is what it seems. The pl...( read more 
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Recent Reviews
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MCT:July 11, 2008''OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!''
A sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there's a larger mystery to solve among the island's secretive, neo-pagan community.
Nicolas Cage: Edward Malus
Ellen Burstyn: Sister Summersisle
The Wicker Man is a classic example of how NOT to do a remake. Which leads me to point out that the tag line goes on about sacrifices being made. Wicker Man sacrifices quality and plot for one of the most boring and dull excuses for a horror movie I've witnessed.
Apart from nearly falling asleep on numerous occasions I managed to endure the whole film on my third attempt. Seriously I have to laugh at Wicker Man because it's got a whiff of steaming offal about it. I'm trying to be polite here but it's hard believe me. Want to know the reasons why it's such a piece of embarrassment to film?
Well for a start the plot is slow and drawn out as I may have mentioned previously, acting is robotic and limp despite having what appears to be a good casting.
Nicholas Cage plays Edward Malus as stiff as a board. Needless to say I'm severely worried in his agent's ability or his own film choices. Whether it be an iffy time travel like Next which wasn't too bad or a dire half baked comic book adapt Ghost Rider, needless to say Wicker Man makes them both look like masterpieces.
Then we have Ellen Burstyn and seriously I begin to cry. My beloved Ellen Burstyn even involved in this spawn of sickness makes me lose hope. I mean it's not like she doesn't do a totally bad performance with the material she's given but come on Ellen. You read the script, you made an error, I will forgive you...just. Previous films have a part here.
Wicker Man has a buzz about it. Pardon the pun, and its not a good buzz. Director Neil LaBute,(who I think personally should be whipped into a time travel machine and taken to the nearest Nazi Concentration Camp), thinks that circus resembling villagers, buzzing bees and a hair receding Nic Cage running about wailing to his momma like a big sissy is grounds for making a horror film.
Heretic Neil LaBute my answer is quite frankly it is not, nowhere near.
What Wicker Man does achieve however is making me laugh and actually pleased when the end finally does come. You actually want Cage to go through pain and crap on-screen for this squalid affair. Then you start laughing and crying immediately afterwards because Ellen Burstyn looks like she just stole Mel Gibson's part in Braveheart. I cover my face not in fear, but in embarrassment. Have yet to see the original Wicker Man but parts I have seen have told me it's a masterpiece and untouchable. So why the remake? Fuck knows! Excuse my language.
Wicker Man will have bees, women and budding pagans grimacing in pain for a depiction that mostly resembles a colourful circus assemble. In my conclusion I'd say I gave Wicker alot of chances, it gave me a waste of time. Needless to say Americans tainting an English classic with their own filth.
AVOID! Unless you want to get stung mentally by the bees and Cage's performance, like I sadly was... -
MCT:May 7, 2008This wasn't so bad...not one of the better Nic Cage Movies! He's an incredible actor and he does well...just the story was like so dang out there. But I've seen worst and this was one of the better bad Movies, if that makes any sense. Still have to see the origional see how they relate!
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MCT:April 29, 2008
I actually really enjoyed it!
Not one of my favourite movies ofcourse, buut one of the best I've seen in a while.
Its a horror, but really not that scary. I have to admit some things 'freaked me out' but didn't really scare me. This is a good thing, because horror really isn't my type of movie.
I suppose the plot is a bit confusing at times, but then again its supposed to be a little weird so you have no idea whats going to happen.
I wont say what, but the ending is really stupid. Well, actually, now i think about it, it was a good ending for the movie. I mean, not all movies have to have a 'happily-ever-after' ending, but this one is unsatisfactory and leaves you more sad than happy.
Nicholas Cage was the only actor I had heard of before, even though he isn't very good at least there was a familiar face. If he wasn't in it then i wouldn't have seen the movie in the first place ... A couple of the other actors (i can't name names) weren't that good in my opinion ...
Not 10/10, but certainly worth seeing. -
MCT:April 21, 2008Edward Malus: [a bee helmet has been placed onto his head and bees are being poured inside] OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!
There is little to say about this except for the fact that this movie will most likely remain as one of the most frustratingly bad movies that I have ever seen.
Nic Cage is literally the voice of the audience, running around and acting confused for the majority of the movie.
This is a terrible, terrible, terrible movie.
Edward Malus: [pointing at school children] Your all little liars! And You! Your the biggest liar of them all! -
MCT:March 9, 2008
lamest ending in movie history, a total let down
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MCT:November 26, 2008horrible movie...cant believe i saw cage in it...thought some portions towards the ending were hillarious,still then it was an awful movie...weird n absurd.
Comments
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Gx7posted 102 days ago -
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yea so....sooo sadly all this ppl are right
the ending SUCK big timee
i wouldnt buy it or see it again
and i wonder why nicolas cage acted in this film
his an awesome actor =]posted 455 days ago -
i was hoping something good would come along towards the end, but nothing really happened. i could've walked out of the movie theater. was really a waste of talent.
i really liked nicholas cage and i dont understand why he did this movie.posted 551 days ago -
Come on...how can you not think it was a load of crap? Nicholas Cage punches a woman to steal a bear suit, punches another woman to escape with the bear suit, then punches another woman WEARING the bear suit. There was no excuse for how terrible this film was.
posted 591 days ago -
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was bad but not horrible, some of you make it sound like a steaming bag of dodo
posted 605 days ago -
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wow. doesn ANYONE actually like this movie? i hate it too. everyone on here brought up really good points...what DID the car crash have to do with the plot at all?? and im really wondering... why did that person lock him into the water pit thing if they needed to use him for the sacrifice? and also, what was up with the old dead man in the bed, and the naked woman covered in bees?? umm...WHAT???? so lame. this movie had a terrible ending and NOTHING was explained. such crap! DONT WATCH IT!
posted 631 days ago -
